https://babylonbee.com/news/9-early-frontrunners-for-the-2028-democratic-primary
The Babylon Bee has obtained the following list of frontrunners for the 2028 Democratic nomination:
Hunter Biden: The perfect heir to the family legacy, only with more F-words and crack.
Kilmar Abrego Garcia: Few candidates have been able to build as much support among the Democratic base as this wife-beating illegal immigrant.
That one bronze statue of the sassy black woman from Times Square: Still smarter than Kamala Harris
Angel Reese: The party could use someone with her track record of beating popular white people.
Volodymyr Zelenskyy: He has valuable experience in running a country and costing American taxpayers hundreds of millions of dollars.
Luigi Mangione: Insiders say he would be a killer candidate.
Stephen Colbert: Word has it his schedule is wide open.
Elmo: The party has a strong history of success when it comes to nominating puppets for president.
Joe Biden’s Autopen: It ran the country before, and it can do it again.
The Republicans could be in big trouble against that all-star lineup. Who else could make a run for the Democratic nomination?
My pics:
Gavin Newscum – he changes his name gains a few pounds and gets a bald cut – I think he might have a chance
Kathy Hochul – she inherited the guv job from the serial fondler and grandma killer during covid – and she is almost as incompetent as kamala but has a problem since she’s melanin challenged
Mamdami – he’s both Marxist and Islamist Jew hater sure to win votes from both Dem and Repub racists and bigots
Andrew Cuomo – he’s Italian, reminds people of Al Capone – exudes graft and power – he’s a serial womanizer like Bill Clinton, he’s a mass murderer like Mao – sending covid patients to nursing homes to kill about 30,000 grandpas and grannies – but he does have a few million to go to catch up to Mao – so being POTUS might help
Jasmine Crocket – she’s black, she’s from Texas, she’s dumb as a box of rocks and she’s well loved by all her fellow black bigots on the wrong side of the bell curve
Mad Maxine Waters – her face alone can stop a clock – and she’s right less than when she stops time – since you’d think the laws of physics says she should be right at least 2 times a day
AOC – better known as Sandy from Yorktown – she has about as much in common with the people in the Bronx she represents as Bernie has with people who actually work for a living. She’s getting a little chunky going to all those Met Galas and ODing on the foie gras and caviar but her bright red lips and wide open mouth spewing nonsense is rivaled only by the lyrics of Taylor Swift