We see it time and again. He walks off stage the wrong way. He slips on Air Force One steps. He falls off his bicycle. He spaces out in a catatonic stare for minutes while everyone is dancing. And yes, at the G7 – they’re in the process of calling this year’s event G6 since they had problems tracking the “leader of the free world” down.
And now we have concrete evidence why this has been happening. We should have guessed. Pundits still assume that the senile empty shell that theoretically got over 80 million votes and became President is Joe Biden. It may be his shell but it is now clear that this is in fact Obama’s 3rd term. Of course, that is unconstitutional and all, but no one really suspected this until the investigative journalists at the Babylon Bee discovered this remote control device.
Barack Hussein Obama has bee hopping mad since his Biden remote control started intermittently going on the fritz. To quote the Bee:
LOS ANGELES, CA — The most powerful man in America was forced to deal with an unexpected emergency last night, with former President Barack Obama suffering a moment of panic due to his Biden remote control suddenly losing connection.
The incident occurred during a ritzy fundraiser where Obama was once again using his state-of-the-art remote control to guide President Joe Biden through a pre-programmed routine as he rubbed elbows with Hollywood celebrities to raise cash for his re-election campaign.
“Oh… oh no… not again,” Obama was heard muttering on stage as Biden appeared to experience yet another of his frequent glitches and freeze, leaving Obama at a loss as to what to do. “Why can’t they get this thing fixed?! C’mon, man! He’s frozen out there like a mannequin again. Those maintenance techs are going to get a piece of my mind!”
Witnesses reported seeing Obama frantically and repeatedly smacking the remote control with his hand. “He was obviously frustrated, as if this is something that happens a lot,” one person present at the fundraiser said. “Biden was stopped in his tracks and showed no signs of coming back to life, and Obama was just out there desperately trying to get his control to work properly.”
“I pushed every button multiple times!” Obama reportedly said to Biden’s handlers. “I tried to do a hard restart, and it still didn’t work. We’ve got to get this figured out before November, folks.”
At publishing time, the team of technicians who had been in charge of ensuring the usability of Obama’s Biden remote was reportedly being taken for an impromptu paddle boarding excursion at Obama’s Martha’s Vineyard estate.